Case Closed

BREAKING NEWS: A couple of guys named Curveball and Rocco have provided PAF with definitive proof that the Russians have acquired the bomb and Doug Feith insists they have "mature and symbiotic" links to global terrorism. Here reavealed for the first time in an exclusive virtual scoop, the proof: a mature and symbiotic Boris Badenov caught in the act.



But, you might say, that's not proof; it's a fucking cartoon. Three words: mobile bioweapons trailers. The precedent is set: For purposes of launching a preemptive war, cartoons count as proof.

PAF has it on good authority that tomorrow morning Vice President Cheney will appear on Meet the Press to say that it has been "pretty well confirmed" that Boris Badenov met Mohammed Atta in Prague, and Cheney will announce that the Turgidson Strategy is now the key to Victory in the War on Terror.

Start practicing those Duck and Covers.