Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Letter to Osama

Dear Osama,

Thank you for your letter. It was very thoughtful of you to write to us. As I re-read your letter the other day, it occurred to me that very possibly no one had gotten back to you. So I wanted to write and let you know that you are still in our thoughts. Here are my responses to your letter.



You say to us:

"The freedom and democracy that you call to is for yourselves and for white race only; as for the rest of the world, you impose upon them your monstrous, destructive policies and Governments, which you call the 'American friends'. Yet you prevent them from establishing democracies."


Yeah, OK, fair enough. I guess I find your views of American foreign policy to be not totally unreasonable. Our government is, as you suggest, attempting to dominate the Middle East. And they are using oppressive governments in the region, as well as direct military force, to help them do that. And their hypocrisy in doing all of that in the name of freedom is pretty breathtaking. But they are not doing it because our financial system and media are controlled by Jews, as you erroneously suggest (Osama, allow me to point out that you have been taken in by an historical hoax). Rather, our government is doing it for the somewhat more straightforward reason that your part of the world contains the great bulk of the world's oil reserves, and the capitalist system on which the wealth and power of America depends itself depends upon access to that oil. Fordism, don'tchaknow. Of course, that doesn't make it right, as perhaps we could agree.

You see you are quite wrong to suggest that we have consented to this policy and made it our own. Literally millions of us demonstrated against this war in Iraq before it ever began and continue to oppose it strongly. In fact, large numbers of us would support a post-imperial foreign policy in a more just and equitable world. So I think we could find a way to co-exist with people in your part of the world which did not rely on using military power and support for oppressive regimes to dominate you.

This is something I might be prepared to discuss with you if it weren't for that other thing.

Osama, I have to tell you that you have caused me and many others great pain by your actions, and like the Dixie Chicks, I'm not ready to make nice. I'm still very angry with you, and although I don't endorse the imperial project my government has launched under cover of their supposed "War on Terror," yet part of me will rejoice in your death if they find you. I'm not proud of that reaction, Osama, but I don't deny it.

Finally, Osama, let me thank you for your invitation to accept Islam. I don't disagree with your criticisms of our culture as fostering corruption and immorality, and I have much respect for your religion, with its traditions of compassion, social justice and equality. But I don't believe in a supernatural creator, and I am perfectly capable of making moral decisions without recourse to shariah or the ten commandments or any other supposedly divine revelations. I don't need you or Pastor Ted or anybody else with a speed dial to god to tell me how to make moral decisions. And by the way, Osama, you need to get over this:

"Who can forget your President Clinton's immoral acts committed in the official Oval office? After that you did not even bring him to account, other than that he 'made a mistake', after which everything passed with no punishment. Is there a worse kind of event for which your name will go down in history and remembered by nations?"

You tar us with serious and plausible charges of aggression and support for tyranny, and then you say our worst historical offense was failing to punish a blow job in the oval office?? Really, dude, I think you need to take this up with your therapist.




I'm glad to see that you have taken up karaoke. It's important to have a hobby, and I hear you don't get out much anymore.

Best wishes to Ayman and the kids.

sincerely,

PAF

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